Jeremiah 4:11-12, 22-28; Psalm 14; 1 Timothy 1:12-17; Luke 15:1-10)
Who here is familiar with the name Felicity Huffmann? I thought some of you would be. Felicity Huffman is an American actress; she was one of the stars of the TV series “Desperate Housewives”, which ran for nine years, and has done a lot of other TV and movies, and is married to the well-known actor William H. Macy.
But unfortunately Huffmann’s been in the news lately for a different reason. She and a number of other people were arrested last March for participating in a college admissions scam, administered by a private college counselor. Huffman and her husband have two teenage daughters, the older of whom was applying to college. The counselor’s plan was to have her apply for extra time on the SAT’s, meaning she’d have a particular proctor whom the counselor knew he could bribe to correct her wrong answers, and raise her scores to the level necessary to get her into her first choice.
But the FBI had known what this counselor was up to – the legal term for it is conspiracy to commit mail fraud (I don’t know why it’s called that, but it’s a felony) – they arrested him, “flipped” him (as the saying goes) into a “sting” targeting more than 50 people who were all involved in some variant of this scheme, and last March they sprung the trap. These folks were all wealthy enough to pay for this “service” (Huffman herself paid the counselor $15,000.) The students themselves knew nothing about it. Part of the counselor’s pitch was, “They’ll feel great about themselves, and be none the wiser, and they’ll get into the school they want. It’s a win-win!”
Well. When Huffmann was arrested and handcuffed in front of her daughters, tears streaming down the girls’ faces, the older one said to her, “Why didn’t you believe in me? Why didn’t you think I could do it on my own?” Pretty horrible.
I’m going on about this, not because I think you might have missed the last few issues of Us magazine, but because there’s an aspect to this story that has to do with something essential to our lives in Christ, which comes up in today’s readings. And this occurred to me because Annie and I know Felicity Huffmann and Bill Macy, we were friends in our New York theatre days in the 70’s and 80’s. And we know that they’re good, smart, sincere people. She made a stupid mistake, and she’ll be living with the consequences of it for the rest of her life.
And here’s where our lives as Christians comes in. I think to myself, How is she going to live the rest of her life? I see the pictures of her coming in and out of various court buildings and I see the anguish in her face; and the jail sentence that she just received, and the fact that her acting career is almost certainly over, is the least of it. I have no doubt that she is tortured – every day – by the knowledge of the damage she’s done to her family, especially her older daughter, and that she did something she knew was very wrong, that she betrayed herself.
But I have to say, speaking both as her friend and as a Christian, that I hope she is tortured. Because that will mean she’s really facing the truth: which is the first, and most essential, step in the act of repentance: turning in a new direction. Repentance: the act through which God’s infinite and all-powerful mercy pours into our lives.
This is part of the Word of God speaking to us in today’s reading from 1 Timothy. This letter is mostly concerned with practical matters, like church administration and how to deal with false teaching. But as in all of Paul’s letters, whatever the specific issues might be, everything – all of life – is grounded in the reality of God in Christ. And he understands that because of what happened in his own life, which is why he makes reference to it a number of times in his letters. Paul was a man of very strong faith, who – in what he thought was defense of that faith – enlisted himself in the persecution of Christians: identifying them, prosecuting them, jailing them, and sometimes assisting in their execution; because what Christians were saying about Jesus was, according to law, the worst kind of blasphemy against God, and deserving of such punishment.
Paul did this zealously, until he himself had a personal experience of the risen Christ on the road to Damascus: the blinding flash of light, knocked to the ground, and he hears a voice saying Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? And Paul says, Who are you, Lord? And the voice answers, I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. Well, there’s no question in Paul’s mind that this is God speaking to him; and even though it turns his world upside down, he knows it’s the truth. His realization of who God really is – his facing the truth – was the first step in his repentance. He saw that what he’d been doing had been horribly wrong, had in fact betrayed God, and therefore betrayed himself. And when I think, how is Felicity Huffmann going to live with herself after what she’s done, I think, how did Paul? Right after his conversion, he was in the same position, only worse; how did he live with himself?
Well, he tells us, in today’s reading: “…I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and a man of violence. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief….” He received mercy. That’s all we can do: receive; open ourselves to the love of God, because that’s what it is. In the words of the great Christian writer Frederick Buechner, “[God’s] love sees us with terrible clarity and sees us whole. [God’s] love so wishes our joy that it is ruthless against everything in us that diminishes our joy.” God’s mercy is God’s love in the act of healing.
And it’s something we all need. Which of us has not acted ignorantly, in unbelief? Which of us has not done things that we’re ashamed of? That there’s no excuse for? That makes us cringe when we remember? How did Paul get past that?
Well, he didn’t “get past it”, really; none of us do. But in the love of Christ, he received the mercy of God, which is infinite, and beyond our comprehension; but we know it’s real, because we can feel it. We can feel that it is in God’s nature to be merciful. And we can feel God’s pleasure in giving mercy: Jesus testifies to this in today’s gospel: “”…I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.”
And maybe, in the infinite mystery of creation, this is because God works through our repentance – our turning in a new direction – in a way that is otherwise impossible.
This is what Paul seems to be saying in the reading from 1 Timothy: “The saying is sure and worthy of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the foremost. But for that very reason I received mercy, so that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display the utmost patience, making me an example to those who would come to believe in him for eternal life.”
This is God’s mercy, which changes lives; and spreads the love of God out into the world. Sometimes that mercy is a hot fire. But it purifies; and sanctifies; and heals us into a new, larger life, that we could never conceive was possible. As we heard Paul say today, “To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.”